i’ve done a handful of big solo trips on the road and around the world, but this summer’s trip was different. i went against every single Type A bone in my body and resisted the urge to make a google doc. while on the road, i didn’t plan a single stop or overnight spot more than a few hours in advance. if you really know me, you know how much i value a good spreadsheet - especially for travel. my only rule was never let the gas drop below half a tank.

the day i arrived home in Colorado, i learned my aunt Naomi didn’t have much time left with us. but it was vague. at first it was “anywhere from 1-10 years”, then “6 months”, then “spend time with her now”. the whiplash of her finishing treatment in the spring then being gone by the fall is mind boggling.

Naomi and i talked about life over coffee one morning as i prepared to head back to washington at the end of july. as usual, she had only profound advice to give. she too was stressed about my lack of spreadsheets for this trip, but she was proud - of this solo journey and my journey in life. knowing i wouldn’t get to take another road trip with her, i brought her along with daily text updates and photos for the rest of my trek. she loved the campsite pictured here. i know she’s still trekking through life with me.

on my trip, i filled my heart and i attempted to empty my brain. i cried with family and i laughed with friends. i paddled a familiar river with old friends and i soaked in new rivers with new friends. i wanted to do every thing, and i was mentally and physically exhausted. at times i got too in my head, and other times i don’t think my head was attached to my body. life has that strange duality and Naomi embodied that. she was a polished blend of “i can’t stand to see bullshit go unchallenged” and “send love and compassion and let it go”. both direct quotes from texts from her.

over 18 days, i explored 7 states and put 4289 new miles on my car. now i’ll work on finding peace in stillness for a while. duality.