An Open Letter to "Autumn People"

I recently came across this "open letter" I wrote back when those were trendy.


Dear “Autumn People”,

Let me ask you a question. What the hell is the difference between Autumn and Fall…? Yeah, I’m not sure either.

But we all know there’s a difference between “Autumn People” and “Fall People”.

It’s that time of the year again. You know the one where the leaves turn pretty colors. I’m sure you dropped at least a hundred bucks on those super adorable plastic pumpkins and cobwebs, but the ones with cute fake spiders because, like, you don’t want to be too scary. Don’t forget the wreath of orange, yellow, and red leaves hanging over the door welcoming the change in seasons. Maybe you nestled some faux pinecones in there too. You have to make your new apartment (in the trendiest part of downtown) ultra chic. Your brand new apartment was probably an old run down warehouse and has been converted into housing for only the swankiest Yo Pros (Young Professionals).

You HAVE to Insta at least one picture of the changing leaves near that delightful park on your walk to work and you always use #autumn because only peasants use #fall. After all, the English think Americans are barbarians for using the term “Fall”.  The term fall comes from “fall of the year” or “fall of the leaf” and has been abbreviated to “Fall”. Autumn comes from the French term “automne”. You are so above “Fall” and you’re even fluent in French. Ok, maybe you just have the Duolingo app on your  brand spankin’ new iPhone.

“Designers want me to dress like Spring, in billowing things. I don't feel like Spring. I feel like a warm red Autumn.” – Marilyn Monroe

You can totally relate to Marilyn.

Whatever your reasoning for being an “Autumn Person” may be, I’m sure it’s totally valid and you can add that to your list of reasons why you are such an exceptional human.

Warmest Holiday Wishes,

A “Fall Person"